How dogs are better ..... 
 
   Part 1: how dogs are better than men

• Dogs don't come in drunk and expect loving.
• Dogs don't notice when you've had a bad hair day.
• Dogs understand when you cry.
• Dogs don't ogle the girls at the beach.
• Dogs like to cuddle as long as you do.
• Dogs don't bring old army buddies home on the spur of the moment.
• Dogs never promise 'not to do it again' - whatever IT is.
• Dogs love you more than they love anybody else.
• Dogs never pinch waitresses in truck stops.
• Dogs like YOUR friends too.
• Dogs never act ashamed to be seen with you in public.
• Dogs don't spend Sunday afternoons watching football - unless you do.
• Dogs never get bored with you and look for someone younger and more exciting.
• Dogs don't bury themselves in a newspaper at breakfast.
• Dogs don't criticize the way you keep house.
• Dogs love you unconditionally.
• Dogs never correct your grammar.
• Dogs don't care how long you talk on the telephone.
• You never have to wonder if your dog really loves you.
• Dogs don't demand to control the TV remote.
• Dogs don't buy Penthouse.
• Dogs never make negative comments on your figure.
• Dogs never bitch about your cooking.
• Dogs never have to take clients to topless bars.
• Dogs never demand sex because it's 'your duty'.
• You're always Number One with your dog.

   Part 2: how dogs are better than women

• Dogs don't cry.
• Dogs love it when your friends come over.
• Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
• Dogs think you sing great.
• A dog's time in the bathroom in confined to a quick drink.
• Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
• The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
• Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
• Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
• Dogs are excited by rough play.
• Dogs understand that farts are funny.
• Dogs love red meat.
• Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
• If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
• Dogs don't shop.
• Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
• A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
• Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
• A dog's parents never visit.
• Dogs love long car trips.
• Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
• Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
• Dogs like beer.
• Dogs don't hate their bodies.
• No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
• No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
• Dogs never criticize.
• Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.